Angielski - sprawdzenie błędów

Byłbym bardzo wdzięczny, gdyby ktoś mógł mi sprawdzić błędy.
Polecenie: Wyjechałeś z rodzicami do Wielkiej Brytanii. Piszesz wiadomość do przyszłego pracodawcy, w której musisz zawrzeć stanowisko na jakim chcesz pracować, fakt iż przeprowadziłeś się z rodziną do Wielkiej Brytanii, stanowiska jakie obejmowałeś w przeszłości (czego Cię nauczyły, co sprawdziły?).

My name is XYZ and I am looking for full-time job like a shop assistant or sales person. Few weeks ago I finished my college in Poland and after that I had a matura exam. Now I removal with my family to UK and I want to stay there for many years.

I have been working as a self-employed personal photographer. Because of that I have qualification to work with people and I cope with stress. Two years ago I was working for two months in ,,Express Linen Services” in London. I was working with people who can speak only in English Language. Communication with them do not make a problem for me, because I learn English since eleven years. Unfortunately I must back to Poland, because I continued my education in college. People whoes know me said, that I am a lively, friendly, helpful and talkative person.

I hope, that my proposition interested you and if you will ever looking for new employee you can contact with me.

Yours Faithfuly,
xyz

looking for a full time job.



A few weeks ago, I graduated from a college in Poland and after that I had a matura exam.



Now, I have moved to the UK along with my family and Im planning on staying here for a longer period of time.



I have the qualifications required and my experience taught me how to efficiently work with people and cope with stress.



A couple of years ago, I spent two months working for a company called "Express Linen Services" in London.



Communicating in English is not a problem for me. I have been learning English since I was eleven years old.



Nie rozumiem, dopiero pisałeś że masz zamiar zostać w UK i że skończyłeś w Polsce studia?
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People who know me usually say that I am a lively, friendly, helpful, and a talkative person.


I hope that my application will meet your requirements. Please feel free to contact me anytime. [lepiej brzmi]



Ja bym napisał:
Regards,
XYZ

Listy formalne kończy się zwrotem "Yours faithfully"
Chyba, że zacznie list od np. "Dear Mr. Jones"
Wtedy "Yours sincerely".
Tak w szkole wymagają bynajmniej